Random thoughts on Food

So it's been a while since I have written here. Longer still on the Shit My Landlady says blog. I think someone tipped her to the blog and she keeps herself locked away from me and asks me for advice before she does things. So I am back and decided to blog about a discussion I had this morning...

Food.

Ok I love food...and before you judge me and make snide remarks "of course we know you like food we've seen that belly." I say to you "Shut the fuck up. I don't need the negativity in my life. I am working on it." Anyhow I love food. "What did I just say?" I love food but I am confused at how we got to some of the foods that we eat. What was we thinking when we created these foods. Fruit, I get fruit. You see this apple hanging on the tree, you grab it and bite it and it's delicious. That's an easy get for me.
What I don't get is how ancient man looked at a cow and thought..."I want to eat that." I am not a farm boy but I have been around cows. They stink. They are covered in flies. Nothing about the animal makes me think "Someone get me some onions because I am about to grill this shit out of this bitch." If you think about the process for meat that sounds like something a crazy person would come up with. Imagine if there was no meat in the world and you come over to my house and I am serving steak. "Mmm this is delicious. What is it?" You'd say. "See that cow in my backyard. There was another just like it. I got it fat and then killed it. I drained it's blood and cut it into pieces. I took those pieces and burned them and served them. Enjoy." You would be out of my house so fast and calling the cops. "He's doing weird things to animals."
"Mmm this stuff on my salad is awesome." "It is the flesh of a dead pig that I cut into ribbons and cooked and served to you."
The only thing I can think of is someone was high. Someone was on that shit and looked at a pig and said "Why Not?"
Think about it. There were probably two guys sitting in a meadow, smoking that "OwwwWeee" and got the munchies.
*Pufff-cough*
"Hey man pass me an apple." One said to the other.
"Aww shit man I forgot the apples." The other replied.
"Man I am soo hungry...I'm about to eat the next thing I see"
*Cow walks into the meadow*
You all are gonna be vegetarians for a week thinking about it.

That being said I think we need to take some of these scientists off the next flavor of Doritos Locos tacos and put them on curing some diseases. We have cheese cooked into the pizza crust but we can't knock out the cough...or a sneeze. It will be the year 3014 and we'll have nacho cheese Doritos lap tops and we'll still need to get flu shots.

These are just my thoughts.